Monday, November 2, 2015
If you are finding that you are dreading parenting your toddler...Brace Yourself...it is NOT your child's fault.
That's right! I am not writing a touchy-feely "you poor tired parent" "it's not your fault" "you need a break" " you deserve some 'me time' " article.
Nope! Sit down and again...brace yourself.
You have a kid...perhaps kids!
Now pull up your big girl panties (Dad's pull up those boxers) and PARENT!!
*FOR THE LOVE OF SANITY ...STOP COUNTING TO THREE!
Mom and Dad, say what you mean, mean what you say! Stop giving the littles "3" more chances to do what you ask before you turn into yelling psycho parent!
Yes, I have been her at times, and I didn't find it effective!
No...I did NOT say- say what you mean and say it "meanly"!
1) Tell your child what you expect in a way they can understand your expectation.
2)Give clear instruction, firmly but kindly, then inspect what you expect (as soon as possible)
3) Apply appropriate consequences! (Positive or negative)
Obedience is taught with instruction and consequences.
Positive and negative consequences are a reality for adults. Teach this to your children.
No work...no pay check.
No chores done...no activity.
Talk back to boss...fired.
Talk back to parent...no playing with friends or no activity.
Hitting, biting, complete restriction of activity or interactions.
If your child doesn't respond to an instruction, the activity is stopped, the cookie is not given, the play date is canceled, the toy is taken, the electronic gaget is in timeout for the set amount of time.
Please, write this down,
*YOUR CHILD IS NOT HUNGRY NOR DO THEY NEED A NAP...SO PLEASE STOP TELLING EVERYONE THIS EXCUSE AS THE HIGH PITCHED SCREAM FROM YOUR "PRECIOUS" NOT GETTING THEIR WAY SEVERS SOMEONE'S SPINAL CORD OR BURSTS AN EARDRUM!
OH...was I yelling? Sorry...I may need a cookie or a nap!
Again, I am NOT blaming your kid! This has worked for them. They have trained you.
The truth is, we give in, give up, give out and our kids are onto us!!
Put down your cell phone, the iPad, the tv remote, the magazine and toss the idea of "me time" out the window in favor of "we time"!
Your family will be exhausted for a few years! That IS the reality. Stick with it and do the work. Parenting is work...WHAT? No one told you?
Well, I am telling you to move any narcissistic tendency you may have (probably because my generation told you you were a princess or a hero and you had self centered choices way too early) to the trash can.
You may have to unplug and ask someone to keep you accountable, but you will not regret teaching biblical family principals to your kids. Obedience in your home starts with you.
Obey God and parent His way!!
Train up a child...or two...or three...you get the idea!
Read for yourself:
Chin up, now go parent!
The Mom Person
This blog post is NOT addressing parents of children with disabilities or a diagnosis...you have counsel and advisors in place, and work with diligence.