Watched a movie with the family...and made commentary as it unfolded. Yep...I have become the dreaded "movie talker"!
As I was analyzing the bad theology and social message of a movie that may or may not have included a talking rat and turtles with masks and weapons... I later received this gem:
"Mom you're no fun."
Of course I'm not.
My job for 29 years, it seems, has been to systematically suck the fun right out of this family by keeping 4 little buggers alive and out of mouse trap sticky pads, stop them from finger painting with diaper deposits, teach them that vegetables are not the enemy, and idiots are not dating material, encouraging them not to squander money -time and talent, and mostly...ruin family movie nights by philosophical lamenting.
Apparently...I'm very good at my job of *funsucking (don't say that too fast please)!
As it turns out-I am supposed to always be smiling and only speaking or commenting with joyful insights and approval. Not just during movies...everyday all day, and then create cute Pinterest posts telling you all about the joys of parenting. Otherwise- back to the 'No Fun' Corner for me!
This is the part where you now imagine me singing 'this little light of mine....and so forth'!
How exactly did 'fun' become the default expectation in my job description?
What? You mean motherhood is not fun?
I never said that.
Did I mention being misunderstood also seems to be part of this gig?
I Love my kids! I dig being a mother...until...I don't.
At which point I usually run into a closet...slam the door sit still and completely lose my marbles... uttering words like "ungrateful lifesucking monsters"...or "pint sized pains in the..." ask me if I remember 'A Gentle Answer' Turns away wrath- at this particular moment...Umm...Nope!
And usually...mostly...okay often...my trip to the
Psalm 16:11 “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
I want to find joy in these little moments.
I want to take off the Sherriff badge of 'Proper Town'.
God has given us a command to love one another and my tendancy to analyze everything as a wife, mom, Nana is often NO FUN! This can put a damper on the way we love in this house.
When I dare confess this to God, He helps me clean up the sorry mess left behind from the giant pity party raves I throw for myself.
A bucket of 'forgive me' and mop of grace is usually a better sanitizing agent to clean the stains a vomitus monolog of all the ways I am now offended by being told 'I'm no fun' leaves behind.
He reminds me that I can move past my lousy reactions...not because of any brilliant religious cleaning solution I have come up with, or by a perfectly justifiable explanation to my family member for my short temper and hurt feelings, but because He promises never to leave me...even when I blow it.
He gave me Christ as a picture of what forgiveness (given or received) without a guilt trip looks like.
Do I always like the wife/mom/grandma gig? Nope...
Do I always handle myself in a wise mommy Christian sort of way? Nope...
Am I saying not to train up a child in the way he should go? Nope...did not say that. We MUST train-teach...but don't harp. (Ouch)
Do I love these imperfect creatures who may or may not be able to rise up and call me blessed ( Ode to Proverbs 31)?
Mommy -wife-sister-friend out there--may I tell you--even if you blew it today...in this very minute...be still...I have a feeling...if you ask God to guide you... you're gonna make it just fine.
I am NEVER going to tell you to 'Let go and let God' (gag)...
I am telling you to Get a Grip...CHILL...Find a moment to enjoy this wild ride.
Spend 15 minutes just enjoying your family today and again tomorrow, even if family at your house means only a spouse, a child, several kiddos, a parent, a roomie...whatever your 'another' in the 'love one another' command may be.
Then keep trying again the next day...and the next...not by your might or strength, but by God's ability to help you.
I can't tell you it gets easier...just find the joyful moments and stay awhile.
But... if you ever do need to know how to get dried playdough out of the dogs tail...or why quiet with a toddler in the house means trouble...just call me! I can put my badge back on!
The Mom Formerly Known As No Fun