Friday, June 23, 2017

Betrayed By The Refrigerator

Ode to My Refrigerator
Kathy Lonsinger                                      (cue Refrigerator Heaven Music)

Why are you are suddenly cold?

Why must you kill the things that trust you to shelter them?

Why did you hate my cilantro so?
Your harsh and biting frost,
Has "squished" any hope my cucumber had to become something big someday (well

Was it too much to ask that you remain faithful...constant?

I've sanitized you, bleached you, hung proudly my children's artwork on your door... introduced you to dairy.

I've never even opened another's door since we've been together (well except at Best Buy and the sale was really good...but are the one I came home to).

Do you understand the joy you have brought to my family the past ten years?
How then could you turn (your temperature) on me?
Are you angry that I have kept some of your old friends away lately? The Carbs, The Fats, and that family I love too...The Sweets?
I've introduced you to many new friends...the Fruit Family, the Veggies, the Proteins.
And while we knew none could stay least you have always had someone to keep you company.

We've tired to repair this brokenness...
You would not cooperate.
This has proven too costly.

We invested so much -- so -- we kept on trying.

Alas, Refrigerator, I think it may be time for you to go...

I must rescue the ones you did not destroy with your chilled heart... but merely bruised. I must find now a fridge who has better self control.

Don't be sad...your light will still shine in our memory (even though you kept turning it off every time I shut the door)!

I do not hold a bitter grudge and I won't be blue...but I kind of think the new refrigerator should be.

To New Beginnings.



Do you keep trying to nurse along a failing habit, a job, a relationship, an activity that is NOT preserving who you are in Christ?

Either a major repair or starting over may be in order.  ( No...I do NOT mean marriage or Godly counsel)

Call the repair man...
He is always on call.

God promises, “Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” — things exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think. Jeremiah 33:3

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Why Would God Want Me?

Thanks to AUTHOR UNKNOWN...this was on our blog years ago.

Classic story...worth remembering!

A G A Ministries Team

"Sometimes we can't see how God could use us. Maybe you've thought...

I'm not perfect. I have all kinds of problems. I have no ability. I have no gifts. I'm just not worthy. Why would God want me?

Well, did you know that

Moses stuttered.
David's armor didn't fit.
John Mark deserted Paul.
Timothy had ulcers.
Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
Jacob was a liar.
David had an affair.
Solomon was too rich.
Jesus was too poor.
Abraham was too old.
David was too young.
Peter was afraid of death.
Lazarus was dead.
John was self-righteous.
Naomi was a widow.
Paul was a persecutor of the church.
Moses was a murderer.
Jonah ran from God's will.
Miriam was a gossip.
Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
Elijah was burned out.
John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
Martha was a worry-wart.
Noah got drunk.
Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
So did Peter, Paul - well, lots of folks did.

But God doesn't require a job interview for salvation. He's our Heavenly Father. He doesn't look at financial gain or loss. He's not prejudiced or partial, not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy, not deaf to our cry, not blind to our need. He know who we are and what we are and loves us in spite of ourselves


He doesn't calculate how you failed again and again. It's not even on the record.

Sure, there are lots of reasons why God shouldn't call us. But if we are in love with Him, if we hunger for Him, He'll use us in spite of who we are, where we've been, what we have done, or the fact that we are not perfect!"

Friday, May 5, 2017

Parents...Parent Please

Hey parents...So here's a shocker...

If you are finding that you are dreading parenting your toddler...Brace is NOT your child's fault.

That's right! I am not writing a touchy-feely "you poor tired parent" "it's not your fault" "you need a break" " you deserve some 'me time' " article.

Nope! Sit down and again...brace yourself.

You have a kid...perhaps kids!

Now pull up your big girl panties (Dad's pull up those boxers) and PARENT!!


Mom and Dad, say what you mean, mean what you say! Stop giving the littles "3" more chances to do what you ask before you turn into yelling psycho parent!
Yes, I have been her at times, and I didn't find it effective!

No...I did NOT say- say what you mean and say it "meanly"!

1) Tell your child what you expect in a way they can understand your expectation.

2)Give clear instruction, firmly but kindly, then inspect what you expect (as soon as possible)

3) Apply appropriate consequences! (Positive or negative)

Obedience is taught with instruction and consequences.

Positive and negative consequences are a reality for adults. Teach this to your children.

No pay check.
No chores activity.

Talk back to boss...fired.
Talk back to playing with friends or no activity.

Hitting, biting, complete restriction of activity or interactions.

If your child doesn't respond to an instruction, the activity is stopped, the cookie is not given, the play date is canceled, the toy is taken, the electronic gaget is in timeout for the set amount of time.

Please, write this down,

OH...was I yelling? Sorry...I may need a cookie or a nap!

Again, I am NOT blaming your kid! This has worked for them. They have trained you.

The truth is, we give in, give up, give out and our kids are onto us!!

Put down your cell phone, the iPad, the tv remote, the magazine and toss the idea of "me time" out the window in favor of "we time"!

Your family will be exhausted for a few years! That IS the reality. Stick with it and do the work. Parenting is work...WHAT? No one told you?

Well, I am telling you to move any narcissistic tendency you may have (probably because my  generation told you you were a princess or a hero and you had self centered choices way too early) to the trash can.

You may have to unplug and ask someone to keep you accountable, but you will not regret teaching biblical family principals to your kids. Obedience in your home starts with you.

Obey God and parent His way!!

Train up a child...or two...or get the idea!
Read for yourself:

Chin up, now go parent!

Just thinkin',
The Mom Person

Please note...
This blog post is  NOT addressing parents of children with disabilities or a have counsel and advisors in place, and work with diligence.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Chickens Really Can Fly

I woke up feeling a little under the weather.
What's better than homemade broth to naturally begin to feel better.

I happened to have a rotisserie chicken from the local market in the fridge - so I put it on to boil (the chicken, silly, not the fridge).

A few minutes after the broth began to boil, I noticed the store had trussed the chicken and the string needed to be removed.  

Not wanting to retrieve the hot chicken from the water, I pinched the string that was sticking up out of the water and cut it.  Now, holding one end of the string, I should simply be able to remove the string with a slight tug. Right?

Hmmm.  Seems they didn't just tie the legs, seems they wrapped about 5 miles of string around the chicken and maybe even took a few detours through the middle of the bird just to make this fun!

Still determined not to remove the whole hot bird from the pot...I tugged.  I pulled. I yanked. I heaved - I...well...

Does the word  TREBUCHET mean anything to you?

Suddenly and without warning - the string DID come out of the pot. But so did  the bird - and trust me - there was nothing simple about it!

As I stood there shocked at the sight of a flying bird in my kitchen - I may have slightly regretted not taking the time to research what I was getting into.

Chickens really CAN fly!  Flying poultry -  might look cool - but the landing- it ain't pretty!

Next time - I really need to make sure there are  "No strings attached"  before I commit to something potentially messy!

(see what I did there?)

“Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who makes haste with his feet errs.”    (Or even hands? Perhaps?)

2 Thessalonians 3:10 

For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
(Just for grins...I posted those scriptures in the much neglected - hardly ever used 'Trebuchet'  font )

Can't say I feel better yet, but  yes - it was funny.  Extremely messy - but funny.

Yep.  It happened about this suddenly!

And for those who might remember...Run away!!!

They say you can tell when pasta is done by flinging a piece on the wall.  I don't recommend this for chicken...much less...a whole chicken.

Just Thinkin',


Friday, March 24, 2017

When You Discover You're No Fun!

Watched a movie with the family...and made commentary as it unfolded. Yep...I have become the dreaded "movie talker"!

As I was analyzing the bad theology and social message of a movie that may or may not have included a talking rat and turtles with masks and weapons... I later received this gem:

"Mom you're no fun."

Of course I'm  not.

My job for 30 years, it seems,  has been to systematically suck the fun right out of this family by keeping 4 little buggers alive and out of mouse trap sticky pads, stop them from finger painting with diaper deposits,  teach them that vegetables are not the enemy, and idiots are not dating material, encouraging them not to squander money -time and talent, and mostly...ruin family movie nights by philosophical lamenting.

Apparently...I'm very good at my job of *funsucking (don't say that too fast please)!

As it turns out-I am supposed to always be smiling and only speaking or commenting with joyful insights and approval. Not just during movies...everyday all day, and then I should make cute Pinterest posts telling you all about the joys of parenting...Otherwise- back to the 'No Fun Mom' Corner for me!

This is the part where you now imagine me singing 'this little light of mine....and so forth'!

How exactly did 'fun' become the default expectation in my job description?

What? You mean motherhood is not fun?

I never said that.

Did I mention being misunderstood also seems to be part of this gig?

I Love my kids! I dig being a mother...until...I don't.

At which point I usually run into a closet...slam the door sit still and completely lose my marbles... uttering words like "ungrateful lifesucking monsters"...or "pint sized pains in the..." ask me if I remember  'A Gentle Answer' Turns away wrath- at this particular moment...Umm...Nope!

And usually...mostly...okay often...these trips to the woodshed closet...end by me realizing I actually am lacking in the 'fun' department and asking the God of all creation to help me be content not being everyone's holy spirit.

I want to find joy in these little moments.

I want to take off  the Sherriff's badge of 'Proper Town'.

God has given us a command to love one another and my tendancy to analyze everything as a wife, mom, Nana is often NO FUN!  This can put a damper on the way we love in this house.

When I dare confess this to God, He helps me clean up the sorry mess left behind from the giant pity party raves I throw for myself for being the no fun-movie talker-joy robber!

A bucket of 'forgive me'  and  mop of  grace is usually  a better sanitizing agent to clean the stains  a vomitus monologue of all the ways I am now offended by being told 'I'm no fun' leaves behind. (Grammar police...That sentence is on parole)

God  reminds me that I can move past my lousy reactions...not because of any brilliant religious cleaning solution I have come up with, or by a perfectly justifiable explanation to my family member for my short temper and hurt feelings,  but because He promises never to leave me...even when I blow it.
He gave me Christ as a picture of what forgiveness (given or received) without a guilt trip looks like.

Do I always like the wife/mom/grandma gig? Nope...

Do I always handle myself in a wise mommy Christian sort of way? Nope...

Do I love these imperfect creatures who may or may not be able to rise up and call me blessed ( Ode to Proverbs 31)?

Mommy -wife-sister-friend out their...may I tell you even if you blew it this very still...I have a feeling you're gonna make it just fine. I am NEVER going to tell you to 'Let go and let God' (gag)...

I am not saying throw discernment and teachable moments out the window.

I am telling you to Get a Grip...CHILL...Find a moment to enjoy this wild ride.

When you discover you're no fun...and you will...stop. Chill.

Spend 15 minutes just enjoying your family today and again tomorrow, even if family at your house means only a spouse, a child, several kiddos, a parent, a roomie...whatever your 'another' in the love one 'another' command may be.
Then keep trying again the next day...and the next...not by your might or strength, but by God's ability to help you.

I can't tell you it gets easier...just find the joyful moments and stay awhile.
But... if you ever do need to know how to get dried playdough out of the dogs tail...or why quiet with a toddler in the house means trouble...just call me! I can put my badge back on!

The Mom Formerly Known As No Fun

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Hide In The Cleft

Have you ever been jolted awake with the awful feeling that you over slept and missed a meeting, didn't get the kids to school, forgot that project, or will be late to work? That Netanyahu Final Stage "you blew it" kind of panic?

One morning, I woke up very early (around 5) and had a cup of coffee and went back to sleep.  At 9:00 exactly I jolted out of the bed, adrenaline rushing through my toes and back, in a panic that I had forgotten to get my son to school.  I was up and brushing teeth in the bathroom, zipping through the kitchen trying to figure out what to do first...when I realized it was Saturday, no school.

It took a moment, or twenty, before my heart settled down and I could just think straight to order my day. Wide awake and thinking...why do I not have a constant peace?

There is a peace promised to me when I spend time with the Father, in His word, and through my faith in Jesus Christ.

I have been trying to wake up with thoughts of God and asking HIM to order my day.
Noticing that the "jolting" at one point in time had become a normal response, I purposely have tried to wake up thanking God for another 24 hours of mercy and asking HIM to go with me into my day.

You see, after many years of wandering in what seemed like a desert wilderness, our family was ready to cross into that "promised land". Yet, we all realized, if God was not with us...we didn't want to go.

Again...this morning...Worry over a current need allowed me to panic. It made me forget that God will go with me into each situation. I must ask Him to go with me. I must give Him time in order to see where we shall go.

Like Moses in the desert in Exodus 33, If God was not going into the new place with him, Moses did not want to move one more step.

I so much want God to reveal HIS glory in my life.  I want the 'next' step, move, decision, action, to be what pleases Him and points to HIS glory.  Yet...I still fight the enemy from time to time with the "jolting awake" moments.
 The lack of peace, the fear, the adrenaline moments of self doubt and old habits. The not trusting that God will lead me if only I will follow in faith-moments.

What makes simple believers in Christ waiver?
We believe, Lord help our unbelief.

Sometimes, we forget to take a Sabbath...yes I said TAKE, not observe.  We HAVE to take that precious gift of rest and peace that the Lord instructed us to take.

I will never be able to face God and take in HIS complete GLORY, but I can sit still and wait on Him to pass by and show me just a glimpse of His goodness and mercy, HIS majesty and HIS ability to work out any situation I am currently facing. In order to do so, I must hide myself in Him. I must carve.

If only we were able to hide in the cleft of the rock as Moses did long ago.

But, I think we can...

The difference between Moses and us? WE have to carve out the cleft...carve out TIME, carve out margin into our day to hide ourselves away from the noise and to do lists. We must hide in the cleft and wait for the Lord to PASS BY!

Where is YOUR Cleft?  Carve out a place, a space, time...maybe it's the Lazy Boy in the corner...maybe it's the back porch when the sun comes up. Maybe you, as I have had to do, need to literally sit in your closet with the door shut and invite the God of the Universe to invade your pass by in such a way that the glory of His presence shines on your face.

Catch a glimpse of God today...carve out some time...Hide in the Cleft of the Rock of your salvation; Jesus is the Rock. He is written into every page of scripture.
                                         (Photo by Kathy Lonsinger Petra Jordan 2007)

What about:
-That job?
-That relationship?
-That marriage proposal?
-That move?
-That activity in your kid's school?
-That health issue/decision/fear?
-That time spent watching football, HGTV, endless HULU and Netflix shows?
-That money you are about to spend?
-Those words you are about to speak?

Would you evaluate how you are spending your time, treasure, and talent and ask: "God, Are you in this? God, is this an activity/decision that brings glory to you in my life?".

If the answer is NO...carve it out too...

When you emerge from the place you carve out today...maybe you could go read the account of Moses in Exodus and see how even he knew it was not worth it to leave the desert to go into a promise land without God leading him.

May this be a time of reflection. Life changing.
May God bless you and show you favor as you hide yourself in the cleft of the Rock!

Just Thinkin',

15 For Moses had said, “If you aren’t going with us, don’t let us move a step from this place. 16 If you don’t go with us, who will ever know that I and my people have found favor with you, and that we are different from any other people upon the face of the earth?”
17 And the Lord had replied to Moses, “Yes, I will do what you have asked, for you have certainly found favor with me, and you are my friend.”

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Gilligan Theology

I awakened in the wee hours today, and after reading my Bible, watching the news,  then seeing an episode of  Gilligan's Island on reruns -- 
It occurs to me that some of us have a "Gilligan" philosophy of theology.

We get stuck. 
We whine. 
We choose alliances for today's episode. 
We whine some more. We fear the dangers of the new island. 
We stare at the hole in the boat. 
We blame the others on our island. 
We get cozy in our hammock on the island of "stuckness" and stay, well...stuck! 

After all, they had enough material in Ginger's wardrobe alone to make sails, had a professor who could build a nuclear reactor using bamboo, a coconut, palm fronds and flower pollen, boat?

"Skipper, Instead of building that table so we can dine on coconuts, berries, crab and Mary Ann's banana cream pie for the rest of our days, how 'bout we build a boat!"

I know, I know...some of you are thinkin' "Who doesn't love banana cream pie and fresh crab (extra melted butter)?  But everyday? Even this sort of manna would quickly turn to mundane.

Friends, we are not stranded! Some of us are simply temporarily run aground.

God knows EXACTLY what island you are on and sees your spiritual GPS footprint. 

You may not have a yacht (Ode toThurston and Lovey) but you have resources; wisdom, knowledge, the word of God (Bible) each other and (if you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ) the power of the Holy Spirit to guide and encourage you.

So, If you ever get stuck on an island with 'bout we work together to get "unstuck"!

What island are you on today? 

*Loneliness Island?
*Isolation Island? 
*Physical limitations Island ? 
*Financial Shipwreck Island?
*Ingratitude Island?
*Fear Island? 
*Anger Island? 
*Complacency Island?
*Ignorance Island?
*Unbelief Island?

Part of getting where we need to go is identifying where we are now!

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
2Co 9:8

To Escape Your Island

1) Admit you are stuck/stranded

2) Pray

3) Build a Boat (work on the vessel of the mind/body/spirit)

4) Set your course for home (Go to God)

Let's set our GPS for Home

Just Thinkin',


(Gilligan "Home Sweet Home" Photo courtesy Gilligan's Island Fan Club

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