Sunday, December 31, 2017

Marriage...The Real Story

(Original Publication Date 12/31/15   Reposting for a dose of real!  Happy 34th Richard!)


This is where I am supposed to post somethin' clever about 32 years of blissful marriage, to my soul mate, and list a bunch of syrupy sweet qualities Richard possesses...Thanking my 4 brilliant and perfect children, parents, daughter-in-law and grandbabies... especially... for helping me become the person I am today!!!

Now...The Real Story:
The reality is... we probably had 9 really great years, 2 years of Awesome, and 21 years of what the heck were we thinkin'!!!

Yep ...32!

28 years of which we've been parents...which means we've been sleep deprived for almost 3 decades! (To my daughter in law...look away...oh...wait...you are binge watching something on Netflix while the kids are napping...so you aren't on facebook today so we should be ok...I did not want to discourage her)
So...I am not posting the cute photo again showing us in White Tuxedos at my Senior prom..or our wedding picture which makes us look so thin...not gonna spend 10 minutes trying to suck in stuff and turn at just the right angle to get a selfie that shows how cute we are today...

We pretty much got up at 3 a.m. 'cause one of us had to pee...can't remember, cause it ends up being both eventually anyway! So as Richard (who NEVER takes naps...as far as you know)...brought me coffee and laid (lie...um.. lay...who cares) back down...I am caffeine buzzed up and thinkin' "What clever tribute can I write on Facebook for our anniversary?"

Well...I got nuthin'. Except...marriage... (some of you just had a "Maaaawij....Maaaawij is what bwings us ta-gevaaaa" moment didn't you?)

Marriage is a blessing-Weddings are simple...Marriage is tough. Marriage is a challenge. Marriage sucks! Marriage is priceless! Yep...Marriage may make you feel bi polar! Marriage is a test of commitment and a battle of wills. "I do" and "I will" should be examined carefully as our "will" and our actions need to default to grace a whole lot more than anyone told us in premarital counseling. Marriage is a beautiful mess ...some days beautiful somedays...a mess. 

God ordained marriage. He.Must.therefore.be invited. to. stay! 

Don't send Him home after the wedding. 

You can't do it without Him in the center. 

Marriage is work. 

Marriage can be lonely...spoiler, I know! 

Marriage is supposed to be 2 become 1...right? 

Well...some days our "one" looks a bit like two drunk people in a three legged sack race. 

We pull different directions, clumsy words get in the way and we fall down. 

But we try to get back up! When we slow down and keep in step with God and His instruction...our stride is easier...the goal line seems possible...less dirt and skinned egos. 


Marriage is a challenge...I know I said that already! 

Now...about that whole "soul mate" thingy! It does NOT exist! Stop lookin'! If you're married...that IS the one!

We do sometimes feel like inmates, behave like roomates, act like primates...but there are those awesome moments we treasure when we are well pleased to be mates in this journey together.

Praise God for forgiveness and new mercies every morning...even morning breath mornings!

Someone tell Richard Happy Anniversary here since he doesn't do "facecrack"...um..I mean facebook.
Well, I have to go get ready for my anniversary date with Rich where we will be staring into each other eyes again later...yes...we are picking out glasses with progressive bifocals again. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Love,
Kathy Lonsinger

Saturday, December 30, 2017

How Can I Forgive When THEY Don't Deserve It?

Forgive? You want me to forgive?



But she/he cheated on me?
But they lied to me?
But they stole from me?
But they gossiped about me?
But they hurt my feelings?
But they broke their promise?
But they have forgotten me?


Which one of these excuses  really good reasons is keeping you from the freedom you will find in forgiveness?

Not the offender's freedom...your own!


So many people hurt. Hurt people -Hurt people. You've heard that...nothing new here. But have you applied this to your situation?

Let's look at the 'reasons' from above:

*She broke your heart and cheated on you.  Yet...God still forgives you of adultery/idolatry. Yes, I said adultery/idolatry in the form of having other things/people/gods before Him.

*He lied to you and now you can never trust him. Yet...God still forgives your own form of deception/lies. (Don't think I don't know some of you have an 'Innocent secret' or two. Now go get that hidden stash of chocolate out of the drawer and put the shirt you bought out in the open not in the back of the closet since you both agreed on a budget!)

*They stole from you. Yet...You have taken...stolen... an idea, time away from God, tithes belonging to God, actually theft of material property or for some of you plagiarism...stepping on toes...yep!

*They gossiped about you. Yet...you listened to them intently last time they talked about someone else, and yes, God has forgiven you...because you asked Him.

*They hurt your feelings.  Yet...God has forgiven you many times of this very thing. A misplaced look, an ill timed or harsh word, and any number of other ways we have hurt each other- have been covered by Grace.

*They broke a promise to you.  Yet...God has forgiven your many broken promises, and yes you have broken a promise whether you meant to or not. How do I know?  Ummm....HUMAN!

*They forgot about you.  Yet...God, in His overwhelming mercy has waited for you on occasion to come sit quietly with Him.  Have you ever forgotten to thank  Him? To spend time with Him?

I know all these devastating hurts are difficult to move past. "It takes time" we hear.
"No one understands" we think. "I am not ready to forgive, I am hurt" you say.

"None of this applies to me...I'm fine" you say.

"But those other things are petty compared to adultery" you're thinkin' right now.

It is a common lie to say adultery is only a sexual sin.
It is actually also theft.

It steals, murders, and destroys.
It steals some one's heart and body not intended for you, murders marriages, and destroys the spirit of one you cheated on.
I am not asking you to give a blessing or condone or overlook. We are to confess our sins one to another and ask God to forgive and then ask those we have hurt to forgive us. Oh, and by the way...STOP IT!

Some of you reading this think "these things don't happen to good people or favored people".
We see some folks lives and think they have it easy and they have such an accomplished life and yet can't help think, "Why am I  stuck in this place of broken.
Broken dreams
Broken promises
Broken marriage
Broken spirit
Broken hearted
...while their life seems so easy."

Please don't be fooled. Even in Christian or "churchy" circles it is very easy to mistake accomplishment for goodness. Even accomplished Hurt Christians...hurt Christians.

Without confession of our sins and the forgiveness that was extended to us on a cross over 2000 years ago, we have no goodness. Even when we know this, we can still make choices that hurt one another. Jesus addressed this so often by telling us how we are to treat ONE ANOTHER and one of the things we are to do is to FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER.

Everyone has had someone hurt them or disappoint them. The choice to stay hurt is up to the one unwilling to forgive. The choice...is up to YOU!
We have to stop classifying sins into categories such as sexual sins, emotional sins, petty sins. PETTY sins don't exist. Sin...IS SIN.

I have had to ask forgiveness and extend it and at times it feels like chewing gravel. Do it anyway!
I am not in anyway saying to forgive and forget, no harm no fowl, and let's all just have a party and a round of Kumbaya. I am suggesting that the key that opens prison cells...your prison cell of bitterness, anger, disappointment, loneliness, shame, embarrassment, brokenness or any prison trapping you in an emotional cell, is the key of FORGIVENESS.

Trust God with the consequences to the other person. Trust God with the new path ahead when you are willing to let go.

Trust God that while we were yet sinners...Christ died for us you...me.

Hurts...hurt. When friends hurt us, the hurt is too heavy to carry alone. Take it to Christ whose strength is sufficient.

Let us pray for each other...let us pray for ONE ANOTHER!

Who needs your forgiveness?  Who do you need to ask for forgiveness?

Just Thinkin',

Kathy





Friday, June 23, 2017

Betrayed By The Refrigerator

Ode to My Refrigerator
by
Kathy Lonsinger                                      (cue Refrigerator Heaven Music)



Why are you are suddenly cold?

Why must you kill the things that trust you to shelter them?

Why did you hate my cilantro so?
Your harsh and biting frost,
Has "squished" any hope my cucumber had to become something big someday (well actually...today).

Was it too much to ask that you remain faithful...constant?

I've sanitized you, bleached you, hung proudly my children's artwork on your door... introduced you to dairy.

I've never even opened another's door since we've been together (well except at Best Buy and the sale was really good...but alas...you are the one I came home to).

Do you understand the joy you have brought to my family the past ten years?
How then could you turn (your temperature) on me?
Are you angry that I have kept some of your old friends away lately? The Carbs, The Fats, and that family I love too...The Sweets?
I've introduced you to many new friends...the Fruit Family, the Veggies, the Proteins.
And while we knew none could stay long...at least you have always had someone to keep you company.

We've tired to repair this brokenness...
You would not cooperate.
This has proven too costly.

We invested so much -- so -- we kept on trying.

Alas, Refrigerator, I think it may be time for you to go...

I must depart...to rescue the ones you did not destroy with your chilled heart... but merely bruised. I must find now a fridge who has better self control.

Don't be sad...your light will still shine in our memory (even though you kept turning it off every time I shut the door)!

I do not hold a bitter grudge and I won't be blue...but I kind of think the new refrigerator should be.


To New Beginnings.



.........................................................................................................................................................

Note:

Do you keep trying to nurse along a failing habit, a job, a relationship, an activity that is NOT preserving who you are in Christ?

Either a major repair or starting over may be in order.  ( No...I do NOT mean marriage or divorce...seek Godly counsel)

Call the repair man...
He is always on call.

God promises, “Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” — things exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think. Jeremiah 33:3







Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Why Would God Want Me?


Thanks to AUTHOR UNKNOWN...this was on our blog years ago.

Classic story...worth remembering!

Thanks,
A G A Ministries Team

"Sometimes we can't see how God could use us. Maybe you've thought...

I'm not perfect. I have all kinds of problems. I have no ability. I have no gifts. I'm just not worthy. Why would God want me?

Well, did you know that

Moses stuttered.
David's armor didn't fit.
John Mark deserted Paul.
Timothy had ulcers.
Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
Jacob was a liar.
David had an affair.
Solomon was too rich.
Jesus was too poor.
Abraham was too old.
David was too young.
Peter was afraid of death.
Lazarus was dead.
John was self-righteous.
Naomi was a widow.
Paul was a persecutor of the church.
Moses was a murderer.
Jonah ran from God's will.
Miriam was a gossip.
Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
Elijah was burned out.
John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
Martha was a worry-wart.
Noah got drunk.
Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
So did Peter, Paul - well, lots of folks did.

But God doesn't require a job interview for salvation. He's our Heavenly Father. He doesn't look at financial gain or loss. He's not prejudiced or partial, not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy, not deaf to our cry, not blind to our need. He know who we are and what we are and loves us in spite of ourselves

SATAN SAYS, "YOU'RE NOT WORTHY."
JESUS SAYS, "SO WHAT? I AM."
SATAN LOOKS BACK AND SEES OUR MISTAKES.
GOD LOOKS BACK AND SEES THE CROSS.

He doesn't calculate how you failed again and again. It's not even on the record.

Sure, there are lots of reasons why God shouldn't call us. But if we are in love with Him, if we hunger for Him, He'll use us in spite of who we are, where we've been, what we have done, or the fact that we are not perfect!"

Friday, May 5, 2017

Parents...Parent Please

Hey parents...So here's a shocker...

If you are finding that you are dreading parenting your toddler...Brace Yourself...it is NOT your child's fault.

That's right! I am not writing a touchy-feely "you poor tired parent" "it's not your fault" "you need a break" " you deserve some 'me time' " article.

Nope! Sit down and again...brace yourself.

You have a kid...perhaps kids!

Now pull up your big girl panties (Dad's pull up those boxers) and PARENT!!

*FOR THE LOVE OF SANITY ...STOP COUNTING TO THREE!

Mom and Dad, say what you mean, mean what you say! Stop giving the littles "3" more chances to do what you ask before you turn into yelling psycho parent!
Yes, I have been her at times, and I didn't find it effective!

No...I did NOT say- say what you mean and say it "meanly"!

1) Tell your child what you expect in a way they can understand your expectation.

2)Give clear instruction, firmly but kindly, then inspect what you expect (as soon as possible)

3) Apply appropriate consequences! (Positive or negative)

Obedience is taught with instruction and consequences.

Positive and negative consequences are a reality for adults. Teach this to your children.

No work...no pay check.
No chores done...no activity.

Talk back to boss...fired.
Talk back to parent...no playing with friends or no activity.

Violence...jail.
Hitting, biting, complete restriction of activity or interactions.

If your child doesn't respond to an instruction, the activity is stopped, the cookie is not given, the play date is canceled, the toy is taken, the electronic gaget is in timeout for the set amount of time.

Please, write this down,
*YOUR CHILD IS NOT HUNGRY NOR DO THEY NEED A NAP...SO PLEASE STOP TELLING EVERYONE THIS EXCUSE AS THE HIGH PITCHED SCREAM FROM YOUR "PRECIOUS" NOT GETTING THEIR WAY SEVERS SOMEONE'S SPINAL CORD OR BURSTS AN EARDRUM!

OH...was I yelling? Sorry...I may need a cookie or a nap!

Again, I am NOT blaming your kid! This has worked for them. They have trained you.

The truth is, we give in, give up, give out and our kids are onto us!!

Put down your cell phone, the iPad, the tv remote, the magazine and toss the idea of "me time" out the window in favor of "we time"!

Your family will be exhausted for a few years! That IS the reality. Stick with it and do the work. Parenting is work...WHAT? No one told you?

Well, I am telling you to move any narcissistic tendency you may have (probably because my  generation told you you were a princess or a hero and you had self centered choices way too early) to the trash can.

You may have to unplug and ask someone to keep you accountable, but you will not regret teaching biblical family principals to your kids. Obedience in your home starts with you.

Obey God and parent His way!!

Train up a child...or two...or three...you get the idea!
Read for yourself:

http://biblehub.com/proverbs/22-6.htm

Chin up, now go parent!

Just thinkin',
Kathy
The Mom Person

Please note...
This blog post is  NOT addressing parents of children with disabilities or a diagnosis...you have counsel and advisors in place, and work with diligence.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Chickens Really Can Fly

I woke up feeling a little under the weather.
What's better than homemade broth to naturally begin to feel better.

I happened to have a rotisserie chicken from the local market in the fridge - so I put it on to boil (the chicken, silly, not the fridge).

A few minutes after the broth began to boil, I noticed the store had trussed the chicken and the string needed to be removed.  

Not wanting to retrieve the hot chicken from the water, I pinched the string that was sticking up out of the water and cut it.  Now, holding one end of the string, I should simply be able to remove the string with a slight tug. Right?

Hmmm.  Seems they didn't just tie the legs, seems they wrapped about 5 miles of string around the chicken and maybe even took a few detours through the middle of the bird just to make this fun!

Still determined not to remove the whole hot bird from the pot...I tugged.  I pulled. I yanked. I heaved - I...well...

Does the word  TREBUCHET mean anything to you?

Suddenly and without warning - the string DID come out of the pot. But so did  the bird - and trust me - there was nothing simple about it!

As I stood there shocked at the sight of a flying bird in my kitchen - I may have slightly regretted not taking the time to research what I was getting into.

Chickens really CAN fly!  Flying poultry -  might look cool - but the landing- it ain't pretty!

Next time - I really need to make sure there are  "No strings attached"  before I commit to something potentially messy!

(see what I did there?)

“Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who makes haste with his feet errs.”    (Or even hands? Perhaps?)

2 Thessalonians 3:10 


For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
(Just for grins...I posted those scriptures in the much neglected - hardly ever used 'Trebuchet'  font )

Can't say I feel better yet, but  yes - it was funny.  Extremely messy - but funny.

Yep.  It happened about this suddenly!



And for those who might remember...Run away...run away!!!

They say you can tell when pasta is done by flinging a piece on the wall.  I don't recommend this for chicken...much less...a whole chicken.

Just Thinkin',

Kathy

Friday, March 24, 2017

When You Discover You're No Fun!


Watched a movie with the family...and made commentary as it unfolded. Yep...I have become the dreaded "movie talker"!

As I was analyzing the bad theology and social message of a movie that may or may not have included a talking rat and turtles with masks and weapons... I later received this gem:

"Mom you're no fun."

Of course I'm  not.

My job for 30 years, it seems,  has been to systematically suck the fun right out of this family by keeping 4 little buggers alive and out of mouse trap sticky pads, stop them from finger painting with diaper deposits,  teach them that vegetables are not the enemy, and idiots are not dating material, encouraging them not to squander money -time and talent, and mostly...ruin family movie nights by philosophical lamenting.

Apparently...I'm very good at my job of *funsucking (don't say that too fast please)!

As it turns out-I am supposed to always be smiling and only speaking or commenting with joyful insights and approval. Not just during movies...everyday all day, and then I should make cute Pinterest posts telling you all about the joys of parenting...Otherwise- back to the 'No Fun Mom' Corner for me!

This is the part where you now imagine me singing 'this little light of mine....and so forth'!

How exactly did 'fun' become the default expectation in my job description?

What? You mean motherhood is not fun?

I never said that.

Did I mention being misunderstood also seems to be part of this gig?

I Love my kids! I dig being a mother...until...I don't.

At which point I usually run into a closet...slam the door sit still and completely lose my marbles... uttering words like "ungrateful lifesucking monsters"...or "pint sized pains in the..." ask me if I remember  'A Gentle Answer' Turns away wrath- at this particular moment...Umm...Nope!

And usually...mostly...okay often...these trips to the woodshed closet...end by me realizing I actually am lacking in the 'fun' department and asking the God of all creation to help me be content not being everyone's holy spirit.

I want to find joy in these little moments.

I want to take off  the Sherriff's badge of 'Proper Town'.

God has given us a command to love one another and my tendancy to analyze everything as a wife, mom, Nana is often NO FUN!  This can put a damper on the way we love in this house.

When I dare confess this to God, He helps me clean up the sorry mess left behind from the giant pity party raves I throw for myself for being the no fun-movie talker-joy robber!

A bucket of 'forgive me'  and  mop of  grace is usually  a better sanitizing agent to clean the stains  a vomitus monologue of all the ways I am now offended by being told 'I'm no fun' leaves behind. (Grammar police...That sentence is on parole)

God  reminds me that I can move past my lousy reactions...not because of any brilliant religious cleaning solution I have come up with, or by a perfectly justifiable explanation to my family member for my short temper and hurt feelings,  but because He promises never to leave me...even when I blow it.
He gave me Christ as a picture of what forgiveness (given or received) without a guilt trip looks like.

Do I always like the wife/mom/grandma gig? Nope...

Do I always handle myself in a wise mommy Christian sort of way? Nope...

Do I love these imperfect creatures who may or may not be able to rise up and call me blessed ( Ode to Proverbs 31)?
Yep!

Mommy -wife-sister-friend out their...may I tell you even if you blew it today...in this very  minute...be still...I have a feeling you're gonna make it just fine. I am NEVER going to tell you to 'Let go and let God' (gag)...

I am not saying throw discernment and teachable moments out the window.

I am telling you to Get a Grip...CHILL...Find a moment to enjoy this wild ride.

When you discover you're no fun...and you will...stop. Chill.

Spend 15 minutes just enjoying your family today and again tomorrow, even if family at your house means only a spouse, a child, several kiddos, a parent, a roomie...whatever your 'another' in the love one 'another' command may be.
Then keep trying again the next day...and the next...not by your might or strength, but by God's ability to help you.

I can't tell you it gets easier...just find the joyful moments and stay awhile.
But... if you ever do need to know how to get dried playdough out of the dogs tail...or why quiet with a toddler in the house means trouble...just call me! I can put my badge back on!

Sincerly,
The Mom Formerly Known As No Fun

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