Shoo Fly

Every Summer! Oklahoma Cold Brew Tea, Softball, Flies and Picnics.

But mostly...Flies.

I accept them as a chance to be perfectly still and a challenge to sneak up on them and unleash any bad thought I've had toward another human on the planet and symbolically squash the thoughts.

I'm good at it...stop judging.

Why do those little Demonic creatures think they can come on in and set up house in your house?

On this day, Ninja Fly was my challenge.

Saturday morning in the kitchen: Fly buzzing around my head. 

Me: "Why is the fly swatter not hanging in it's spot?" 

Kids: "Don't know!" 

Maniacal fly continues annoying BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzing...and me... ducking, aimless arms flailing about swatting,  mumbling, "I wish you would die already" under my breath. 

 SHOO FLY! 

I brew a nice pitcher of tea (iced tea on a hot muggy Oklahoma summer day makes things better) and go about my daily business. 

Saturday noon back in the kitchen: Fly buzzing around my head. 

RRRGGGGGG!!! (apparently flies turn me into a pirate) grumble@#$%&*!!!!! 

Me: "Has anyone seen the fly swatter?" 

Kids: "NOPE!" 

Hubby: "I never use 'em. I roll up a towel or a paper and mid-air those suckers!" 

 SHOO FLY! 

Demon fly...now smiling I believe...continues annoying BUZZZZZZZZZZZZzing mostly near my ears just behind my head so I jiggle back and forth like a bobble-head doll on a dashboard.

Me: (still ducking, swatting and mumbling) "I wish you would die already" now out loud! 

 SHOO FLY! 

So, I add ice to the nice pitcher of tea and go about my daily business. 

Saturday evening: Had fun at the grocery store with my husband. Came home to unload groceries in the kitchen. 

Beelzebub buzzing around my head. RRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG grumble@#$%^&*!!!!!!!!!! Me: "WHY DIDN"T WE BUY A FLY SWATTER AT THE STORE JUST NOW?" 

SHOO FLY! 

I sat down after dinner with Richard and a nice glass of iced tea in the family room, thinking maybe the sadist fly would leave me alone. But no...and I think I actually heard Jeff Goldblum's voice whisper "You have to leave here and never come back. Have you ever heard of insect politics?" 

Returned to the kitchen to make dinner while sadistic fly continued his sociopathic behavior around my head. 

Me: "JUST DIE ALREADY!" 

SHOO FLY! 

Cleaned up dishes, sat down to check emails and ministry blog and heard my daughter from the kitchen: 

Daughter: "Mom, I found it!" 

Me: "THE FLY SWATTER?" 

Daughter: "NOPE!" "THE FLY!" 

 

Turns out it was a clinically depressed, suicidal fly...or at best... a really bad swimmer. 

Yep, Death by drowning—IN MY NICELY BREWED NEW PITCHER OF ICED TEA! Sometimes, we get exactly what we ask for, but it is not without sacrifice of something we really wanted. Well I better go now. I need to brew some tea! Luke 14:33 In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. 

Three thoughts:

—Sometimes you won't solve the problem...it will solve itself.

—Invest in a fly swatter for every room.

—Spiritually become part of the SWAT team    STOP WORRYING ABOUT TOMORROW

Just thinkin', 

 —Kathy